Dearest Three Musketeers

You know who you are. I affectionately dubbed you the King of Wands, the King of Pentacles and the King of Cups many moons ago. For some reason, whenever I gaze at those three kings of the tarot deck, I remember you–and the tidal wave that brought you into my life.

It was the King of Pentacles who planted the idea in my head to start a business when we were at the London Book Fair in 2019. All I wanted to do was write stories, but he told me that I was destined to be a business leader. When our journey first started, he was my mentor and I was his mentee. Around a year later, he asked me if he could join the business team.

I said yes immediately.


They say that before you die, your life flashes before your very eyes. For the past two weeks, the past two years of my life have flashed before my very eyes. The experience is akin to sitting down to properly watch a movie that once played in the background while I went about my daily chores. Time takes on a non-linear quality. There are haphazard memories, moments I thought I had forgotten, and events that I am seeing in a new light.

I am digesting. I am processing. I am integrating the past two years of my life into the fabric of my being. I have been through a lot.

Deep down, in my heart of hearts, I am still the same person. The choices and decisions I make–especially when I encounter similar situations–is what has changed. It is what has finally allowed me to fully embrace my life’s purpose and surrender to my higher calling.

That is what death does. It forces you to surrender. In surrendering, you always discover that you are much more, much grander and far more powerful than you realised.

That life’s plan for you is much bigger than the miniature plan you have for yourself.

‘Big’ and ‘Little’ Deaths

I experienced ‘the big deaths’ and ‘the little deaths’. The ‘big deaths‘ of losing loved ones. The ‘little deaths’ of changing jobs, changing countries and just change in general. We are all constantly going through the cycle of life and death. Some changes are big and permanent, others are small and fleeting. There are both part of the cycle. The cycle of life.

Over the past two years, I have written extensively on the topic of death and the afterlife. Whilst I have always accepted death as an old friend to be embraced, I have noted the discomfort, the fear and the absolute terror in people’s eyes as I openly discussed the topic. In folklore and mythology, we have depicted death as a grim reaper. A skeleton in a black-hooded cloak who comes to collect a person’s soul.

As painful as death is, it is not the end. A new form of consciousness awaits–for both the departed and the bereaved. In denying death and clinging to what can no longer be, we negate and diminish the precious gift of life.

Denial of Death

In Connecticut, I once stayed at a synagogue where I poured over the Mahzor Lev Shalem for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. The prayer book has lingered in my mind for months. There were many poems, teachings and stories that I noted down in my spiral notebook that I have read and re-read.

It is the denial of death that is partially responsible for people living empty purposeless lives; for when you live as if you’ll live forever, it becomes too easy to postpone the things you know you must do.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

In the wake of COVID-19, the journey of the past two years makes more sense now than when it did when I first embarked upon it in 2018. I had been writing for years and years. I had been teaching for years and years. And yet, the knowledge I was born to teach and write about remained suppressed by society’s boxes of who I should I be.

Not everyone has the ability to perceive that which lies beyond our five physical senses. Some of us are born highly intuitive with abilities and modes of perception that go beyond the ordinary. Contrary to popular belief, we are not fortune tellers, charlatans or quacks.

The unseen world often speaks to us in symbols. It is up to us to decipher the messages. And I have heard those messages and seen those signs. I have always been deeply intuitive. I always knew that there was more to this world that what we–as humans–would ever be able to perceive. But when the full force of that intuition began to blossom into maturity; I honestly thought that I was losing my mind.

My perception of the world was growing and evolving; and my soul had to grow along with it. I could no longer deny who I was. I could lie to the world. The world could even force me into living a lie.

But I could not lie to myself.

I needed to remember. I needed to remember who I was. I needed to remember what I signed up for well before I was born. Memories from lifetime after lifetime came flooding into my consciousness.

There was no way I could have stopped the tide.

The Sanatani Legacy

The fact that some select individuals continue to look at me with disdain when I speak of the inevitably of death strikes me as odd and strange. People may choose to perceive me as macabre for speaking of the destination that is destined for us all; but I choose to think people are strange for not wanting to think–or even consider–the destination that awaits us all.

Recently, a reader commented that death is a big theme in both my books. Another reader told me that my debut novel The Little Light helped him to heal and come to terms with the death of his loved ones. Others have mentioned how my numerous discussions on Ancestral Veneration have helped them to understand how people whom we have lost–or never even met–continue to play a significant role in our lives. Many have reconnected with their ancestral spirit guides with whom the bond continues to deepen. Others realise that their ancestors have embarked on a different path, on a different journey.

Regardless of what relationships we have with those that reside in the spirit realm; there is one perennial truth about human existence.

The all powerful grim reaper is all around us. We never know when he lurks around the corner. We can deny him temporarily. But no one has the power to cheat death forever.

When your time comes, he will be there to collect your soul.

COVID-19 Death Toll

COVID-19 has claimed the lives of close to 1.7 million people. There have been a total of 76.4 million cases worldwide (of which 41.3 million people have recovered).

On social media, futile discussions concerning ‘the new normal’ and the inconveniences of the lockdown are all the rage.

I know people who have lost family members and loved ones. Even in the wake of the worldwide pandemic, life meanders on for those of us who are lucky enough to remain healthy. As of 28 October 2020, there are three COVID-19 vaccines. The pharmaceutical and tech industries continue to grow and even flourish.

Can you remember life before COVID? It’s hard, isn’t it. In this ‘new normal’, each day has a way of blending into the next, especially when your abode is your office and you need to voluntarily undergo imprisonment for the sake of your own good.

Pre-COVID, I was an avid traveller. I often travelled for both pleasure and work. I even moved countries multiple times as I embarked on ‘the next great adventure’. No risk was too big, no heart’s desire was too foolish and no quest was beyond reach.

Have I changed?

Even though the physical barriers have barred me from leaving my bedroom and the island country I call home; I am still travelling. I am still meeting people through the numerous Fireside Chats I’ve had on this blog. I am still writing. I am still teaching. I am still who I was before COVID… only that I am further along on my journey, on yet another detour on life’s unexpected winding pathways.

The New Year

2020 will soon come to a close. A New Year will soon be upon us.

No matter how much we worry, our incessant worry doesn’t make any difference at all. I haven’t the slightest idea what 2021 will bring. But then again, who does?

The only thing I know is that I will be further along my journey… And it is undoubtedly a journey that leads to the inevitable destination that awaits us all.

But till that day comes, I would like to celebrate my life. I would like to celebrate myself. I’d like to say that I did it all on my own, but that would be a blatant lie. Without the three inseparable musketeers who have stood by my side, none of this would have meant anything at all. Like the crazy cosmic family in The Little Light; we have bickered, squabbled, disagreed, made each other laugh and made each other cry. But we all came together when there was a job to be done and a goal to be reached.

You–the three musketeers–are the best men I have ever known. It is truly my good fortune that our paths crossed at the time that it did.

Thank you for getting in the boat with me. It’s been one hell of a ride.

I can’t wait to see what we do next.

Love always,

The Queen of Hearts

Posted by:Dipa Sanatani

Publisher | Mith Books | Author of The Little Light and The Merchant of Stories

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